Broken Puzzle.

Lately it’s been weird. me & my gf. I love her so much. She was talking about how much she missed me but we couldn’t go see each other because our families wanted us to stay home. She kept telling me how much she missed me and I missed her too, but I didn’t understand because we saw each other that day. Not really alot because we were selling fireworks, but we saw each other. So I’m thinking well we see each other almost everyday so how could you miss me to the point were you miss me that much. I didn’t understand her feeling until today.

I wanted her to come over but she said she wanted to spend time with her mom. Now I know it sounds horrible, but this feeling came over me of like idk anger and sadness. I wanted her to come over and she couldn’t. But it wasn’t like I was angry with her, I was just angry that we couldn’t spend time together. So we’re talking and I move on cause I’m supposed to go out with my aunt anyways. Well plans changed and I just was at home texting while she was out being with her mom.

So she texts me “Suprise Visit Later?” Now i’m all excited because I’m like yes she’s gonna come over and then she’s gonna come spend some time with me. Well later the convo she texts me “I don’t think I can come over because my college friedns wants to spend sometime with me” Boy oh boy that killed me. & instantly I knew just how she felt yesterday. The feeling of missing someone so much that you feel this weird sensation in your heart that kills you.

i wanted to scream. I wanted to ask her why she would spend time with her friend instead of me. Again it’s not because I don’t want her to hang out with friends cause I wanna hang out with friends too but it was like I’d been left behind.

Now i’m sitting here in my room missing her & she won’t even text me back. I hate this feeling. I want to go away. This feeling just reassures me that I really do love her because if didn’t love her and I didn’t care I wouldn’t feel this way right now.

- shallow desires

  • 01.01.12
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