I’ve always had a nice amount of control in m life. Not to much where I’m telling my mom what to do but enough to where my mom supported me for anything that I decided to do. She helped my find out what I loved and now what I wanna do for the rest of my life. I appreciate that, but now she’s pushing the fucking line. 

Okay I haven’t applied anywhere for college. I didn’t have time during the summer and school got me busy, procrastination, blah blah blah. And now I’m really trying to figure out what I wanna do. 

My mom for the past week has been telling me where I NEED to apply. Where SHE THINKS I should go. This is such bullshit. 

Look I get it. She’s my mom. She wants me to be successful. She wants me to do well in life, but sometimes it’s too much. I hate people badger me and try and act like they know everything there is to tell me. Idk if i’ll get in anywhere because I got a 1470 on my SAT. I’m scared all I’m gonna do is get rejection note after rejection note and hen what is she gonna say. Right now her yelling at me, her telling me what I should be doing doesn’t make it any better. It just annoys me and makes me not wanna do it that much more.

then she tries to bring my girlfriend into it. Heather has nothing to do with this. She keeps telling me how much of a distraction she is. How much I don’t get done. how much time i spend with her. I spend everyday with her. Yes. I don’t do hwk over there yes. But i’ve noticed that I’m more wiling to do my hwk and stuff now so that I can go hang out with her. It’s so annoying how people try and tell me what they think I’m doing wrong. You don’t see me sitting around critisizing your life. You dont see me sitting around here acting like I know what you need to do. It’s time for her to leave me alone and just let me breathe. 

Soemtimes I just wish I didn’t feel like a fuck up. My mom badgering me all the time. I feel like that’s all I’ll ever be in life is one big FUCK UP. 

Life sucks -__-

- shallow desires